It happens to all of us. We have what we think is a great meeting with a prospective donor. We discover their giving priorities, we build a bridge between those priorities, get permission to have a gift discussion and we follow through on that invitation and they seem to be on board to make a gift.
Then...nothing.
So what do you do? Do you give up all hope and assume the effort was in vain?
Do you keep calling, over and over, hoping that your persistence will give you the resolution your heart craves?
There's many options as to what to do and all of it depends on the context of the relationship with the donor. But here's the first thing I know you shouldn't do in any context.
Don't assume the worst. That is what my lazy Bernese Mountain Dog does. She assumes the barrier is insurmountable and lays down. The likelihood that you offended the donor and that the relationship is over forever is very low. We don't want to subject our donor interactions to our personal fears of inadequacy and rejection. This isn't about you it never is! This is about the donor, their timing, their psychological state and even the various things going on in their lives.
Here's what I mean. First off you've got to remember that people have busy lives. This can be especially true of very successful people. Many of them are trying to run businesses. Some may have complicated travel schedules. I had one donor who would spend months at a time out on the sea in his yacht. You can bet he was hard to get ahold of during that time.
When you are talking with a current or prospective donor, it's so important to try and get an understanding of what their availability is like to continue the conversation or make a decision. Are they in the middle of trying to sell a business? Did their parents just die? Are they leaving for a cruise around the world? Is it tax season? Any one of these things will definitely slow down a gift discussion. This is why we want to avoid this problem by having an intentional conversation at the end of a gift discussion about the donor's availability and a timeframe in which your follow up conversation can take place. Donors will often let you know directly that they are going to know when you should follow up.
Not only should we not presume the worst, we should also have a realistic understanding of what silence means. If a constituent hasn't given you any information that would lead you to the conclusion that they are unavailable, you should be observant like my Golden Doodle is. Allow some distance but watch closely! Maintain a sense of curiosity about the situation. It's very likely they are busy with something, but it's also a possibility that they aren't interested in making the gift. It's a good bet that if a year's gone by, the donor isn't returning your calls, and you made a clear solicitation, their silence is their way of giving you your answer. It's fine to make a follow up call or two, spaced out over a few months, but don't behave like my golden retriever who never stops asking me to throw the ball for her!
If this is the case, I'd recommend entering the gift in your CRM as declined and be patient. Look for non-intrusive ways to keep the constituent involved. Stewardship of past gifts can be helpful here, as can sharing interesting news about your organization with no mention of giving. Just be sure to give them plenty of space and understand that for some people, saying "No" is uncomfortable and they may prefer to stay silent rather than tell you outright. The goal here would be to get the relationship back to the level of comfort that it had prior to the gift discussion so that they can see that they are still valued by the organization. Also keep in mind that there may come a time in the future when the donor is ready to re-engage in a gift discussion. In most cases that won't mean keeping them under active management, but you should keep an eye on them, as there may come a time in the future when they are ready to have further giving conversations.
Are you ready to start a major gift program at your nonprofit? Is the one you have lacking the "oomf" you need? There are twenty questions you need to answer in order to have a strong major gift program! Take my free, 15 minute class on this topic by clicking the button below!